Before I begin today’s post, I’d like to provide two links for you to read. The first is a guide for survivors of domestic violence that focuses on how to secure devices, communications, and personal data when technology becomes part of the abuse. Here’s the link to the guide followed … Read more
Women are all about the heart. Men… Would you like to know how to win a woman’s heart? If you want access into a woman’s world, you need to learn how her heart operates. She’ll give you the world if you do.
In last week’s post, I talked about how physical abuse IS psychological abuse without the obvious scars. Today, I want to talk about how narcissism, at its core, is soul cannibalism…. which is the slow, methodical, unwinding of a person’s mind and emotions. Essentially, narcissists murder another person’s soul. This … Read more
In today’s post, I want to continue my discussion on the plague of narcissism that is reaching epidemic proportions in society. In last week’s post, I touched on the fact that NPD is an intractable, insidious, and dangerous disorder that is notoriously difficult to treat. I also reiterated the fact … Read more
The plague of narcissism is pervasive in the earth today. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is an intractable, insidious, and dangerous disorder that is notoriously difficult to treat. Narcissists are malignant predators who prey on their victims in order to fuel their inflated, yet fragile, egos. They are cunning masters of … Read more
What is the most important question when it comes to relationships? Well, okay, there’s two really really really important questions, not just one. Are you ready? Here you go: Do you see me? Are you there for me? It’s really what we all want to know when it comes right … Read more
What is a Freudian slip? Have you heard the term? The Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is essentially a slip of the tongue where someone unintentionally says something they didn’t mean to. Sigmund Freud described this phenomenon in his 1901 book titled: “The Psychopathology of Everyday Life.” Freud posited that … Read more
What personality types are narcissists attracted to? Do they target individuals with specific qualities and traits? The answer is a resounding “YES!” Narcissists seek a certain type of person, one who will put up with their controlling, manipulative, and coercive behaviors, without making too much of a fuss. Which makes … Read more
Why do Christians take communion and why is this invaluable gift not being used more in the body of Christ? In my opinion, many Christians associate communion with a ritual that is taken on Sunday in the company of other believers. While that is true, the breaking of bread can … Read more
When most of us think of intelligence, we associate it with IQ – how smart a person is. And that’s true, but intellectual intelligence isn’t the only type of intelligence we possess. Let’s talk about emotional intelligence – what it is and how we can become more emotionally resilient to face … Read more
Have you heard the phrase: “All life is rooted in perception?” How each of us view reality is determined by how we perceive things. It’s all about perception… It’s true that we don’t see the world as IT is, we see life how WE are. Is it reality or perception? … Read more
Denial, defensiveness, distortion, and dismissal are all part of the narcissistic framework. Denial serves a purpose, in the case of childhood abuse or neglect, as it provides protection against situations that are overwhelming to the child. In adulthood, however, denial leads to broken relationships, distortion, and a refusal to accept … Read more
Trauma bonds are emotional bonds that form over time between a victim and their abuser. These invisible tethers are created, and cemented in place, from a recurring cycle of abuse. This cyclical abusive pattern is perpetuated, via a system of rewards and punishment, referred to as intermittent reinforcement. What is … Read more
Hey there, What is the relationship between emotional triggers and trauma? The first thing we must understand is that even after separating yourself from a stressful situation or person, you’re still going to get triggered. This is because emotions are stored in the body. They don’t just magically disappear once … Read more
Biblical declarations, also called biblical confessions or proclamations, are a powerful form of prayer. What are biblical declarations? They are simply taking what God has said in the Bible and making a statement out of them in the first person. This is how Bill Johnson, lead pastor at Bethel Church, explained … Read more
I’ve had many people ask me how they can determine whether or not they’re dealing with a narcissist. As narcissists tend to play by the same handbook, here are clues that can help you identify if the toxic person in your life is showing signs of narcissism. What are the … Read more
Object constancy is a term taken from Psychodynamic Theory, which explains the ability of a healthy person to view another person in an integrated light as someone who possesses both good and bad qualities. It is the ability to view someone, whom you know and love, in a favorable manner … Read more
Have you heard the term “an existing ideology of resentment?” You may not have heard the term, but if you’re living with a narcissist, you are most certainly living it. It goes something like this: If someone has already decided to hate you, NO MATTER what you say or do, … Read more
I often hear people comparing the effects of emotional abuse to that of physical abuse. In reality, emotional and physical abuse are just two sides of the same coin. Keep reading to find out why emotional abuse IS physical abuse. People with personality disorders use intimidation and manipulation to control … Read more
How do we come to an understanding of suffering without defaulting to the trite response “This must be God’s will?” Below are a few thoughts I heard Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar, say about this weighty topic. When asked to what degree God is involved in suffering, Rohr answered that, … Read more
What is the difference between a sociopath and a narcissist? The sinister coldness of sociopathy is thought to arise from congenital deficits in the area of the brain that houses emotional input, and one’s ability to interact in a normal way with others. Compare this anatomical abnormality to the lack … Read more
I hear the following question a lot in my business: “Will living with a narcissist ever get easier?” The short and succinct answer is “No!” And not only will it not get better, it will undoubtedly, get worse. People with personality disorders are unstable, erratic, unpredictable, and incapable of regulating … Read more
In today’s email, I’d like to share some powerful words by Anthony Hopkins where he makes the admonition to stop wasting your time on people who aren’t worth it. He goes on to say: ′′Let go of the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest … Read more
Ending a relationship, and moving on with your life, is not easy. It takes a lot of courage and fortitude to move away from the familiar into uncharted territory. I’ve found that reframing helps… Instead of viewing the situation as losing something, think about it in terms of what you’ll … Read more
The demonic realm is real. Even if many today don’t want to acknowledge that fact, or talk about it, the truth remains. This truth is clearly demonstrated throughout the Bible. In this post, about spiritual warfare 101, I’ll be listing the weapons of warfare talked about in Ephesians 6, and … Read more
I read this story today and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have. Praise God for the warriors in our lives who help rescue us from the sticky messes life throws our way. “My dad has bees. Today I went to his house and … Read more
How does God view narcissism? Can narcissists be forgiven if they don’t feel guilt? What is a seared conscience? Here’s my take on it: Narcissists feel guilt. Mine did. At least in the beginning. This was until he chose to suffocate his internal compass. The operative word here is “chose.” … Read more
Valentine’s Day can be a tough day for many reasons. It can be unusually taxing if you’re dealing with a narcissist. Follow these tips on how to be happy alone on Valentine’s Day. If you’re in a toxic relationship, you’ve had to learn how to live in a minefield and … Read more
In today’s post, I’ll be talking about how to obtain freedom from trauma and abuse, how to be healed, set free and delivered from the wounds that have shattered your soul. In essence, you’ll learn how to become unbroken. Freedom From Trauma Trauma is the broader definition of what is … Read more
In today’s post, I want to address the topic of stress. We all feel it, don’t we? The stresses and annoyances of everyday living. It’s just part of being alive and living on this planet. The thing about stress, though, is we can reduce its effects by changing how we … Read more
How To Communicate With A Man Who Doesn’t Hear You! Have you ever wondered how to communicate with a man who doesn’t hear you? Here’s an explanation on why narcissists react in such an unreasonable manner. Narcissists react inappropriately because an event, a word, or a look was triggering in … Read more
Discerning The Jezebel Spirit The following is an except from an article by Reverend Marie Berbick of Touching Your World Ministries where she underscores the importance of discerning the Jezebel spirit and how to deal with it. “Unfortunately, many Christians are unaware of the most dangerous form of spiritual destruction, … Read more
Tender Warrior: When Men Get It Right Everybody Wins “When men get it right in their walk with God, everybody wins, and when men get it wrong everybody pays a price.” This quote is taken from Stu Weber’s beloved book “Tender Warrior: Every Man’s Purpose, Every Woman’s Dream, Every Child’s … Read more
Does God Give Us More Than We Can Handle? Does God give us more than we can handle? I know we’ve heard that He doesn’t, but did you know that that sentiment is not actually biblical in the way most of us understand it. Just look at people who are … Read more
How To Deal With TOXIC People During The Holidays The holidays are a special time of year as we celebrate our Savior’s birth. Unfortunately, Christmas can be a mixed bag of emotions for many people as they deal with relationships that are less than healthy. I’m sure many of you … Read more
Necessary Endings & New Beginnings [My First Christmas Alone] It’s been a year… That’s the understatement if there ever was one. Last year marked the end of my marriage, and along with it, the end of an era. My divorce was finalized last April, I sold my house of 17 … Read more
The Narcissist Stare & What It Means Toxic people are experts at subtly controlling those they’re closest to. One such method of control is the narcissistic stare, which is meant to communicate ridicule, hatred, and contempt. Sounds super creepy, right? It is. Keep reading to find out why… The Narcissistic … Read more
What Does Fawning Mean? [Are You Guilty Of This?] What does “fawning” mean? Fawning is one of the four types of responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) caused by trauma, notably childhood trauma. This can include physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse. These learned responses often carry over into adulthood, influencing … Read more
Is Hurry Sickness Giving You A False Sense Of Security & Significance? Have you come down with a case of “hurry sickness?” It appears to be the plague of our century. The problem is – busyness in itself generates nothing more than a false sense of security that because you’re … Read more
What Is Soaking Prayer & Why You Should Make Time For It What is soaking prayer? Simply put, it’s setting aside time for intimacy with God, with the purpose of experiencing His manifested presence. You don’t have to worry about if you’re doing it right. There are no rules. Neither … Read more
Trauma and Brain Function [3 Ways Abuse Damages The Brain] Have you ever wondered how PTSD, phobias, obsessions, hyper-vigilance, pervasive trust issues, addictions, and eating disorders develop? You’ll better understand how these conditions arise by recognizing the connection between trauma and brain function. Here are 3 ways chronic abuse can … Read more
Why Seeking Closure With A Narcissist Is Totally Pointless It’s normal to want closure when ending a relationship. However, closure with a narcissist isn’t going to happen. Don’t waste your precious time looking for answers to all your “why” questions. Why this? Why that? It’s a dead end road with … Read more
What Drives Narcissistic Devaluation & Dismissal? Narcissists use psychological compensatory mechanisms to protect their fragile sense of self. They use these stances to compensate for something that is missing, namely, a core sense of self. Let’s unpack what drives narcissistic devaluation. Narcissists lack a core sense of self. Instead, they … Read more
Hydrogen Peroxide Bath Therapy [Healing For Body & Soul] Soaking in a tub with relaxing music and essentials oils is amazing for reducing stress hormones, for realigning perspective, and for rejuvenating both mentally and emotionally. However, you may as well bring out the big guns while you’re at it, and … Read more
Progress and Goals Are Soooo Much Better Than Feeling Stuck I’m still basking in the relief of being divorced and out of my house. Relief is such a wonderful, life-giving emotion. I highly recommend it. However, to say I was utterly spent and exhausted for days after moving is an … Read more
Personality Disorders and Altered Perception Here’s an interesting fact about Cluster B personality disorders and why the perceptions of people suffering with these disorders is so off kilter. Normal people depend on their eyes to give them feedback about the world around them. They see something and their brains process … Read more
What Does Betrayal Feel Like? Betrayal hurts. It changes who you are. The way you look at yourself, others and the world is forever altered. What does betrayal feel like? A betrayal wound is an excruciating, overwhelming and unrelenting pain that takes a long time to heal. Betrayal is an … Read more
Moving on After Divorce Well, I’m officially out of my house and moving on after divorce. It was a grueling, 5-month process that I thought would never end. Two of the offers fell through as we were nearing the closing date. To say I was terrorized is an understatement. Having … Read more
Cold Hard Facts About Covert Abuse Here are some cold hard facts about covert abuse. This type of abuse flies under the radar, often getting swept under the rug as the dirty little family secret. The abuse happens in plain sight, while the abuser sits there with an evil smirk … Read more
3 Subtle Signs You’re Being Manipulated & Abused Covert abuse can be subtle and not overtly apparent in many cases. Following are 3 not-so-obvious signs you’re being manipulated. This abuse can happen within a marriage, with siblings, parents or friends, in the workplace, and sadly, even in religious environments. Signs … Read more
3 Benefits of Turning Inward When Life is Tough Here’s the thing about trials – they can teach us a lot about ourselves. Coming out of a long-term marriage, that turned extremely toxic the last 7 years, I took the time to turn inward and examine all areas of my … Read more
Are You Living With A Narcissist? Many women are in marriages with narcissists but don’t realize it. Why is this? Is it possible to be in a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder and not know it. YES – this is because narcissistic abuse is subtle and covert, … Read more
There is a direct correlation between the nature of our relationships and our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Research into relationships and health has demonstrated repeatedly that supportive relationships can strengthen immunity, whereas toxic unions inhibit it. Loving connections are associated with longevity, quicker recovery from health challenges, a robust … Read more
Is happiness a missing component in your journey to health? You try so hard to do everything right . You eat a healthy diet, exercise, take your supplements, and get enough sleep – but you’re still not where you want to be in regard to your health. Is there a … Read more
Self-awareness is the capacity to examine and sit with your own thoughts and feelings, to see yourself as a unique individual separate from your surroundings. Introspection, self-reflection, and observation are all components of self-awareness. This ability to see yourself plays into your health and well-being. Keep reading to learn how … Read more
Life is tough. The inevitable twists and turns, adversities and challenges can sometimes be too much. It’s easy to second guess yourself and your abilities. If you’ve been hit particularly hard with a recent failure or devastation, your self-concept may have taken what seems to be a fatal blow. Your … Read more
Is self-care on your radar or are you in survival mode? Many of us today can barely find the time to pay the bills and feed the kids, let alone take time to nourish ourselves both physically and emotionally. When did we get so busy and frazzled that our own … Read more
Forgiveness. It’s a big topic, and one most of us don’t talk about. We’d rather keep our anger. This has been me at times. Did you know that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself because it has more to do with you than the person you’re forgiving. Releasing negative … Read more
Everybody’s talking about the Ketogenic diet and with good reason. It’s no secret that obesity and inflammatory diseases have reached epidemic proportions. In this post, I’ll try and simplify (hence the name, “The Ketogenic Diet for Dummies”) the ins and outs of why this way of eating is beneficial, the … Read more
Summer’s here and that means pool parties, lazy days at the lake, weekend barbecues or just leisurely hanging with friends. What’s a party without food? Stay tuned for the best broccoli salad recipe, which is the perfect addition for any occasion. It’s chock full of crisp, antioxidant-rich goodness, and the … Read more