I’ve had many people ask me how they can determine whether or not they’re dealing with a narcissist. As narcissists tend to play by the same handbook, here are clues that can help you identify if the toxic person in your life is showing signs of narcissism. What are the 5 Es of narcissism?
The 5 Es of Narcissism
- A Lack of Empathy
Empathy is a key component needed for healthy relationships. If it’s missing, there are going to be problems.
Empathy is the ability to understand what another person is feeling. The inability to empathize with others is one reason narcissistic relationships are fraught with struggle and frustration.
2. A Sense of Entitlement
Entitlement is the belief that “I deserve special treatment because I am special.”
This is obviously extremely problematic when it comes to healthy relationships because the feeling, that one deserves something based solely on entitlement, does not extend to the other person in the relationship.
3. Exploitation
Disordered people tend to exploit others for their own gain.
To exploit another person is to take unfair advantage of them for one’s own benefit. This can play out in a number of scenarios and prevents relationships from thriving and deepening.
4. Egotistical
Narcissists are egotistical. Not only are they self-absorbed and self-centered, they hold to the belief that they are better than others.
When this element is pervasive in a relationship, the person who is not narcissistic, will endure a lifetime of not getting their needs met if they choose to stay.
5. Envious
Another characteristic inherent in narcissism is envy. Depending on the presentation, envy is typically a part of the picture, although it may not be glaringly obvious.
Rest assured, that even though the person may not outwardly demonstrate their envy, it is an internal aspect of the disorder due to the profound sense of shame, rejection, and insecurity that narcissists feel.
If you’re ready to join a powerful, transformative community where women can heal and connect
No disrespect because I appreciate when a person puts their thoughts out in the open. But here is a contrarian take. After being told what to look for, many people tend to look for these things whether they really exist or not, and where they haven’t noticed such things before, in order to reach the projected conclusion they’ve already reached. Personally I don’t think lots of new -ists and -isms are necessarily the right path. I don’t need a classification to dump somebody. I think our -ist and -ism seekers have gained such great influence today that we’re nearly on the verge of world war 3. Perhaps a bigger problem is self hatred and insecurity and the New Age empowerment of persons and groups of persons with these traits, who may lack internal confidence, such that they must find -ists and -isms and classify others in order to make themselves feel better. It’s not going to be easy to stay happy by classifying others in a denigrating manner. Rather than patting myself on the back by labeling another person -ist, here is the way I do it: ‘We didn’t get along, so I don’t hang out with them anymore.’
I appreciate you sharing your opinion. Narcissism is not merely a label. It’s a dangerous disorder that has hijacked countless lives. I wish it were as simple as refusing to label a person. That won’t make much sense to a mother, with five little kids, who is being abused in a variety of ways on a daily basis. It’s a little more complicated than deciding that since I no longer like or trust my spouse, I won’t hang out with them anymore. Child custody, financial constraints, and fear of bodily harm are all salient issues that complicate the situation. Such a simplistic way of thinking is not helpful when people are being abused. Thank you for your comment.