Why Seeking Closure With A Narcissist Is Totally Pointless
It’s normal to want closure when ending a relationship. However, closure with a narcissist isn’t going to happen. Don’t waste your precious time looking for answers to all your “why” questions. Why this? Why that? It’s a dead end road with no through street. Don’t look for closure with a narcissist. You’ll be disappointed…
Seeking Closure With A Narcissist Or Other Toxic Person
Closure is a psychological term that expresses a person’s desire for hard and fast answers to their questions. The individual who is seeking closure is looking for clarity, while dispelling ambiguity. Clearing the cloud of confusion that surrounds a situation or person is completely normal. We all want to make sense of what is going on around us. It gives us a sense of tying up loose ends.
Rather than hoping to tie up loose ends in your mind, a better use of your energy would be to spend it moving forward in your life. Think about YOU, not them. Thinking about a toxic person, and trying to figure out why they did the things they did, is not worth losing IQ points over.
Seeking answers and closure is a waste of your precious time, which you’ve probably given up way too much of already. There are no answers, disordered people do the things they do, because THEY ARE disordered. There’s no rhyme or reason to their thought processes and behavior. That’s a plain and simple fact. Stop the rumination.
Trying to unpack that jumbled up muddled mess that is their mind would be like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, where the pieces either don’t fit, or are missing altogether. Try to imagine the frustration and feeling of futility of such an endeavor. Just looking at the outward circumstances of someone’s life is enough to conjecture what is taking place inside their head.
Ending A Relationship With A Narcissist
Making sense of the “whys” from a person who has a distorted view of reality is not a good use of your time. It will most certainly give you brain damage, and you need your thought processes to be clear in order to move on with your life.
Believe me when I say: “I know this is easier said than done.” Even though it’s not possible to stop ruminating entirely, if you gradually practice getting better at it, you won’t be as triggered as often, and your life will be more peaceful and productive.
That right there is worth the cost of NOT hoping for closure with a narcissist or other person who does not have your best interest in mind. Adjust your expectations, know that closure is not going to happen, and move on with your life. Don’t let any more nonsense take up real estate in your brain.
P.S. Join my private Facebook Group – The Toxic Relief Room – for more tips on how to deal with the narcissist in your life.